Emotional Boundaries: Protecting Your Well-being in Healthcare
- InnerCare+
- May 30, 2024
- 3 min read
As a healthcare worker, you're no stranger to the daily emotional rollercoaster ride.
From navigating the highs and lows of patient care to juggling the demands of your personal life, it's clear that managing emotional boundaries is not just important—it's essential.
And let's be real, if you’re one of the unlucky healthcare workers dealing with a toxic manager, you can easily multiply all of that by ten.
But here's the kicker: many of us struggle to set boundaries, believing that absorbing all this emotional weight is just part of the job/role.
Been there, done that—I spent years feeling guilty if I didn't play the role of emotional sponge for everyone around me. Until one day, I realised that neglecting my own emotional well-being was doing more harm than good.
So, join me for another episode of my self-care routine, where we'll dive into the concept of emotional boundaries and explore how they can help to change your mindset and improve your mental health.
What are emotional boundaries?
Imagine your emotions are like a cozy little garden. Emotional boundaries are the fence that protects this garden, ensuring that only the right people and things can enter. Just like you wouldn't want pests or a random goat wandering in and leaving piles of poo all over your beautiful flowers, you don't want negative influences trampling on your feelings and well-being. In healthcare, maintaining these boundaries is like keeping your garden in top shape.
8:15 AM. A colleague attempts to breach my emotional boundary.
As I settle into my shift, it’s common for colleagues to seek support by sharing their negative experiences or emotional distress from the last shift, problems with other colleagues, or simply personal issues they need to vent about.
While it’s important to be empathetic and supportive, maintaining your own emotional boundaries ensures that you can stay focused and positive throughout the day.
In other words:
I choose how much emotional stress I can handle at that specific time, who I take it from, and how much support I can offer, all to keep myself mentally healthy while supporting others.
How can we do this confidently, without feeling guilty? Again, your communication skills will be the key, as we saw in the email about time boundaries.
How different communication styles deal with this?
😔Passive Style: They feel guilty if they don’t listen. They’ll swallow the whole breakfast of negative emotions: sausage disappointment, scrambled regret, and toast of frustration. ❌
😡Aggressive Style: This people know how to set their boundaries but…with a 0% understanding. I would be something like: “C’mon, leave me in peace. Can’t you see I just started the day? ” ❌
😎Assertive Style: "I understand you're going through a tough time, and I completely empathise with your frustration. Unfortunately, I am dealing with some personal issues myself and am unable to take on more, at least for today. I hope you understand. Thank you.” ✅
By responding this way, I acknowledge their feelings without taking on their emotional burden. This approach not only protects my emotional well-being but also shows understanding and respect for their feelings.
Common scenarios where emotional boundaries are often breached in healthcare.
Are they familiar to you?
Absorbing others' emotional burdens: Compassion fatigue can result from exposure to patients', colleagues', and families' struggles.
Over-involvement in workplace conflicts: Emotional entanglement in office conflicts and gossips drains energy and focus.
Personal conversations during work hours: Engaging in emotionally charged talks with colleagues distracts and taxes.
Receiving unsolicited advice or criticism: Unwanted feedback affects self-esteem and causes stress.
Dealing with demanding patients or families: Interactions with high-maintenance individuals drain emotionally.
Exposure to Traumatic Events: Witnessing or experiencing trauma impacts emotional well-being.
Takeaways from today's email
1️⃣
Remember that self-care isn't selfish - it's vital for sustaining your ability to care for others.
2️⃣
Learn to say NO when necessary, and prioritise your well-being without guilt. Your emotional health is just as important as your physical health.
3️⃣
This is not just about maintaining your boundaries, it's also about respecting others'. Recognise that your friends and colleagues also have their own emotional boundaries and limitations. Before seeking support, consider if they have the capacity to provide it.
We'd love to hear from you!
Support other healthcare workers like you by sharing your thoughts, experiences, and insights about emotional boundaries in the comments section.
Together, we can build a supportive community and empower each other to prioritise self-care and emotional health.
Have an emotionally healthy day!
Best regards,
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The workload alone in healthcare is already heavy enough. Shouldering my co-worker’s problems can make work more stressful. I want to learn how to establish clear emotional boundaries without being unkind or rude. This article helped me to be more assertive in protecting my emotional boundaries.
Working in the A&E is emotionally draining, and I used to feel guilty for not being able to support every colleague going through a tough time. I eventually hit a breaking point and realized I needed to change. I attended a workshop on emotional resilience and learned techniques to set boundaries without feeling guilty. Now, I make it clear to my colleagues when I can’t take on their emotional burdens, and I’ve found that they actually respect me more for it. This article brought back so many memories of that journey. Great advice!
Mark
Setting emotional boundaries has always been a struggle for me. Your tips on assertive communication are exactly what I needed to hear. It’s a fine balance between being supportive and not overloading yourself. This article really helps clarify that balance. Thank you very much!
Great read! The part about respecting others' emotional boundaries is so important. It's a two-way street and being mindful of that can improve our relationships with colleagues and patients. Thanks for the insightful article!
Wow, this article was an eye-opener. I always thought it was my duty to absorb everyone’s emotions, but I now see how harmful that can be. I’m definitely going to start setting some boundaries. Thank you!